“You need to train your dog!”
Have you heard it? Maybe from a stranger at the park, probably the same stranger that let their off lead dog run up to yours. Or maybe from a family member or even your partner.
My husband said it to me once, during the early stages of my trying to help JJ with his reactivity, probably in response to JJ over reacting to something and my husband feeling embarrassed. It was before JJ had been diagnosed with a painful spinal condition and arthritis, but I already knew his reactivity was caused by fear and was helping him to feel more comfortable in unfamiliar environments. New and different was always scary to JJ.
JJ has always been very obedient. He has amazing recall, walks nicely on a lead, can do tricks and is very responsive to anything I ask him to do or not to do. However, he will bark and lunge like a ferocious beast in certain situations.
Those situations used to be regular occurrences and could include seeing an unfamiliar person or dog or even a traffic cone that was in an unexpected place! Have I ‘trained’ him out of it? No! JJ’s reactions are a rarity now because I have built his confidence and I manage his environment so that he is not faced with too much all at once.
JJ’s reactions were a result of fear, most likely caused by pain. Do we ‘train’ humans not to be scared of spiders or heights or flying? In human psychology, experts use counter conditioning and desensitisation or maybe a bit of hypnosis. That’s exactly the approach a qualified behaviourist will use with your fearful dog (without the hypnosis!). None of those methods fall under the category of ‘training’.
Fearful dogs cannot be ‘trained’ not be scared. We can train alternative behaviours for them to demonstrate in scary situations, but that doesn’t change the underlying emotion.
All those amazing things I have trained JJ to do, go out of the window when he is scared. You might be great at sudoku or the rubix cube or maybe you can sing, dance or play piano. Can you do any of those things when you are terrified? When a speeding truck is heading straight for you, if I held you so you couldn’t run away and told you to finish that crossword and it will all be ok, would you believe me? I think you might raise your voice, possibly use a couple of swear words and fight like the devil to get away.
Now think how your dog feels when they are tied to you by a short lead and something they are afraid of is getting closer and closer. Which bit of training do you think will help in that situation? Shall we make them sit? Lots of owners insist on a sit when their dog is struggling with a situation, then get frustrated and angry when their dog seems to have forgotten what ‘Sit’ means.
For those of us that understand our dog is struggling with their emotions when they bark, lunge and spin on the lead, it is upsetting when someone tells us to ‘train your dog’. If only it was that simple!
Dogs like JJ need a long-term behaviour modification plan to gradually change or reduce the emotion they are feeling in situations they find difficult. That plan needs to be kind and gentle and requires patience from all members of the family, not just the primary carer.
What about that guy on TV or the person at the park that has been a dog trainer for 20 years, who say ‘you just need to take a firm hand!’ Well, let’s go back to that scenario where the speeding truck is heading straight for you and I’m holding on to you telling you to do a crossword. Let’s add a rope around your neck, that I keep pulling and tightening. I’ll shout at you a bit too. Are you feeling less scared?
You might work out that if you stop screaming, I’ll stop shouting and if you stop trying to escape, I might stop tightening the rope around your neck, but it doesn’t mean you’re not still scared. It probably means you are now scared of me too and what I will do next. The speeding truck will pass by and you might feel better about that, but I’m coming home with you and I will keep putting that rope around your neck everyday. Will you still want to be my best friend?
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